Monday, February 20, 2023

dxxxvii. ZAPPA, Frank: The London Cab Tape

dxxxvii. ZAPPA, Frank (1940-1993)

The London Cab Tape (1992)
FZ, voice
Howard Kaylan, voice
Mark Volman, voice
Jeff Simmons, voice
(1:24)


from Playground Psychotics


November 29, 1970

Howard: Fuckin' guy has flipped out, man! Ought to be locked up!
Jeff: Who, me . . . ?
Howard: Yeah, you too!
Jeff: It was antisemitic of me to bring it up.
Mark: What, you don't like Jews, man?
Jeff: Let me make it perfectly clear, Volman. I don't mind that you're a Jew. Stay out of my way. Take your Bar Mitzvah, man, and shove it.
Mark: I never had a Bar Mitzvah.
Jeff: You have a yarmulke, man?
Mark: No, I wore one once, though . . .
Jeff: I knew it.
Mark: What's wrong? You don't like 'em, man?
Howard: Probably don't like cowboy hats, either.
Jeff: Just keep it out of my way, man, I don't wanna see that yarmulke on stage ever . . .
Howard: Uh . . . well, I don't know, man, that'd be sorta neat. Not in this group of course,but tomorrow.
Jeff: Howard Kaylan World!
Mark: The Yarmulke.
FZ: Ha ha ha!
Jeff: Dear Frank, thanks for paying a hundred twenty three dollars for my meal in Amsterdam.
Mark: . . . which I didn't want anyway.
Howard: I hated!
Jeff: I really enjoyed playing in your little own ensemble.
Howard: For a day or so.
Jeff: Thanks for bringing a little slice of sunshine into my life.
Howard: Thanks for showing me how sh . . . shitty the music business could really be. I thought I knew.
Jeff: Thanks for making me the worst bass player in the world. After six months with the Mothers I figured I've lost everything I ever had.

**

Despite their unhappiness, Mark and Howard stayed with the band for several more years. Jeff left The Mothers mid-movie during the chaotic filming of 200 Motels. He was replaced by Martin Lickert, Ringo Starr's chauffeur.

Zappa forgave him. He even re-hired him a few years later, and co-wrote a song with him (Wonderful Wino) and featured a Simmons composition on Joe's Garage (Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up).

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